CASIO WATCHES DEALS

I know you kittens and cats are all uppity, fancy pants with your iPHONES, but my Nokia totally kicks an iPHONE's ass. Sure, I can't watch porn on the #6, or Shazam a Scared of Chaka song at B-Side, or find out when Happy Hour is at The Speakeasy, or go to Oink Art and... well, you catch my drift.
But my phone can withstand multiple falls from bikes, fences, the tops of vans, billboards, etc. And I can text like a MOTHER fucker with the real keys instead of those virtual keys that are made for infant-sized fingers. And my shit is cheaper. And I don't have to deal with the inadequacies of this failed 3G thing.
And you also don't walk in to Yes and No or Tube and see 300 vapid fashionistas with their faces underlit by their cyber-teats, doing God only knows what, while they wait in line to do blow.
So yeah, keep your smart phones.
Smart phones make you dumb.

Dumb phones make you smart.
Take that shit to the bank!

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